If stress is mental and emotional strain, and management is the act of directing or controlling, then it stands to reason that stress management is the control of mental and emotional strain.
Then, why do so many of us struggle to control our stress?
We’ve all heard the whole “we’re no longer running from a cheetah” spiel, but that’s how many of us feel much of the time: stressed — like we’re running from a cheetah.
So what’s wrong with us?
Nothing’s exactly wrong with us, except that if we’re doing the same thing over again, and it’s still not working, we are the only ones who can change.
Stress, like laundry and taxes, will always come. Sometimes it will be a light stressor, like dropping your keys, sometimes it will be a little more intense, like spilling tea on your blouse, and now you have to change, and you’ll be a few minutes late to work. And occasionally, it will be a devastating stressor like a loved one passing away.
These are all valid sources of stress and, unfortunately, it is not a matter of if we will be stressed; it is a matter of when.
I was pondering all this at one point, trying to make sense of why I felt that the simplest task was a daunting chore, when I realized, what if it’s not about managing stress?
What if it’s about managing ourselves when we experience stress?
I can’t change stress any more than I can change the color of the sky, but I can, for the most part, change how I manage myself when I am stressed.
So what can we do about it? We’re not in the business of stopping ourselves from feeling pain. But let’s face it, we would like to feel more at peace more of the time. And there are SO MANY ideas out there for methods on how to manage stress.
From journaling to grounding and hot baths to warm tea. From stretching to running and massage therapy to acupuncture. From saunas to cold plunging and movie nights to morning walks. Make sure you also get your Vitamin D in. Oh, and don’t forget to exercise. Fast in the morning because it can improve metabolism; don’t fast in the morning because it can lead to exaggerated blood sugar spikes and insulin resistance, ultimately slowing down metabolism. Eat 120g of protein per day and 12g of fiber per meal because nutrition helps mitigate stress. Take adaptogens to help modulate stress, but there are so many out there; how do we know which ones to take? By the way, you also have to prep those meals so you can reduce your stress. Are you with me, here? We haven’t even been to work or tidied the house yet. Not to mention taking care of kids and spouses. And the big stress kicker — SLEEP! Sleep to reduce your stress. But before you can sleep, you need a bedtime routine, which means you need a wakeup routine so that you can set yourself up for the day, thereby setting yourself up for restful sleep later that night.
And ALL these things are true! These are all science-backed, evidence-based, and heavily researched. But not ALL of these things are true for you.
Because what stress reduction techniques work for you may not work for your spouse, or your sister, or your best friend.
OK, so what do we do and how do we do it? How do we find what works for us?
The easy part is learning about the strategies and methods to reduce stress. There’s no shortage of information out there, that’s for sure. The more challenging part — finding what works for YOU. There is so much noise about how to do something, I’m afraid we forget to (or don’t even think to) listen to ourselves.
Instead of trying to do it all, start with one thing. Pick one thing you enjoy that you find relaxes you, even a little. Choose to partake in it for whatever amount of time you can allow. 1 hour, 10 minutes, 30 seconds, it doesn’t matter. Commit to that ONE thing for the rest of the day. Then wake up and commit to it again tomorrow.